Defending the Ego
What it's like Being ascended but still dealing with blows to the Ego
I write this from a space of heart-centeredness and after the processing and releasing of what was causing me to seriously doubt my abilities as a healer.
I am a nurse. As much as I tell people I don’t care to refer to myself as a “healer”, according to many, the very fact I hold a license and practice as one, means I am a healer. I suppose Florence Nightingale would agree as well. I knew I wanted to be a nurse by the time I was 16 being in and out of the hospital with my grandparents and being a part of witnessing my grandfather’s transition on hospice at 18. I went straight into nursing school after High School and at 21 years old trained in a Level 1 Trauma/ER year+ long fellowship and for the next decade I saw the worst of the worst in both the Metro NYC area and at UNC Chapel Hill and other surrounding ERs. I obtained a Certification in Forensic Nursing and trained to be a SANE nurse at Duke yet during the clinical portion I found it wasn’t for me. Looking back, I was absorbing all of their trauma and it was affecting me and it just didn’t align with me at the time but I saw the peril and utter traumatic effects of sexual assault no matter age gender or preference. I know how to properly collect evidence and have shared my expertise to law professionals and have experience in Legal Nurse Consulting. I specialized in Level 1 pediatric ER nursing for a bit, holding a national CPEN certification for almost a decade and then ventured out into the world of hospice nursing where I first learned about essential oils and had a complete paradigm shift on death not being ‘the end’. After 10 years or so of all that, I became a coordinator for traumatic injury prevention on Long Island where I researched, implemented, maintained and followed-up on patient care. I was a Tai Chi instructor for a state grant funded program helped the elderly and chronically ill prevent and reduce their risk of falling, as that is the number one mechanism of trauma in those 65+ in Nassau County, Long Island. It is within this specific job duty that I learned about Chi and what it actually was….energy. I then began training during this time learning meditation, metaphysics, quantum healing & shamanism. I trained and studied and became an initiate of the Modern Mystery School, Int. During this time I also traveled to Albany about twice a year to discuss policy and procedure at the state level, to Washington D.C. once and educated hospital employees and the entire surrounding community on life saving techniques such as Stop the Bleed and pedestrian/MVC safety. I briefly worked the tents and ER during COVID but soon found myself at my worst state of physical health requiring a cane and have since spent the latter 2+ years on Long Term Disability working full-time on my self-healing which inadvertently lead to my rapid ascension and rise in vibrational frequency. I am still a member of the AHNA (American Holistic Nurses Association) and am always up-to-date on latest holistic healing remedies from westernized to eastern to even the very woo-woo and sometimes considered taboo.
I don’t share all this to brag because quite frankly I don’t find it that impressive in comparison to others. As well, I know that these trainings, certifications and years of hands-on experience ultimately in the truth of the Universe mean absolutely NOTHING. I am always reminded of how St. Thomas Aquinas spent his entire “career” and life as a Theologian and Alchemist and when he experienced the Philosopher’s Stone first hand, he never wrote another word again. THAT is the truth.
The only thing that truly matters is being grounded, connected and protected IN your physical body so you may live consciously present and flow with all life has to offer. Contrary to judgemental popular belief- you can acquire these states of ‘Enlightenment’ even without ingesting additional DMT, because yes trolls, I am aware we already carry within us endogenous DMT via the pineal glad, which is again, how one can astral travel without the added psychedelics or low dose Psilocybin. Side note: I never judge those that do or have partaken as I know many who enjoy tripping out alone or in ceremony circles, or have seen healing effects from microdosing. I shared my theory of importance of remaining grounded while partaking in these substances and the number of low vibe comments and accusations of “what makes you qualified to say…” and then my Ego is left feeling the need to justify myself which is completely unnecessary but I do it anyway and that is my truth which I know none of it even matters! Then my Higher-self Chimes in…So Hum. I Am.
I tend to feel dumbed-down when people question my abilities, even on social, which I clearly recently experienced this minor blow to the Ego. I’m writing this because years ago I probably would’ve cried about it for days and been all up in my head about what other people were thinking. Now, thanks to the energetic and spiritual tools I’ve learned and made a part of my daily rituals, I am able to instantly recognize an Ego blow and I write this to enlighten you on this topic.
Being able to recognize Ego vs Heart/soul, or even Ego vs. clit/dick as I say depending on the situation in 3D life, is a sign that you are in fact ascending. It is a sign that you do not allow your mind to control your Autonomic Nervous System. It is a reminder of your inner power, strength, light and God(dess) leading you along the way and you in turn entrusting that guidance. It is about acknowledgement, acceptance, processing, loving and letting go. It is literally all about Quantum Physics and flow and my bestie Albert Einstein says it the best… “everything is energy and that’s all there is to it”. As Marcus Auerilias is quoted as saying “you have power over your mind- not outside events”.
In conclusion, I write this somewhat resume to remind others that the idea of uplifting humanity and continuing to spread the love despite the low blows to the Ego comes in time with practice and in maintaining that sense of being grounded, connected and protected. It’s also a cathartic reminder to myself that I do in fact know what I’m talking about and just always know, beautiful souls, that before I ever post anything on social I double check my facts, ask my guides if I should post it and go from there. Instinct is everything in building your resiliency- trust your Higher path and all the wisdoms it brings you along the way.
I just hope this makes sense, is all. Just believe in yourself. Have a good one, beautiful souls xo, All